busy doing nothing
2005-05-04, 11:49 p.m.
had big plans to discuss this weeks alpha course topic and what i thought/think/make of it. however, tiredness and general lack of thought ability have hindered these plans, so your stuck with plain ole me....
O came to play today which was rather fab as it wore H out perfectly for (hopefully) a good night's sleep. Jaz popped over with excess cheesecake (post-party yesterday) and being ever-helpful, I agreed to eat it. anything for a friend in need, y'know how it is.
Grim is getting less grim these days, those it is partly i think due to advice i was given in an alpha meeting about negative thoughts towards others. basically you can look at it 2 ways..... one is that the thought(s) are from the evil one who is trying to disrupt and corrupt you. if that is the case them choosing to disregard these thoughts is easier than you realise - it's like you can disassociate from them and disassociate from how they make you feel. The second way to deal with negative thoughts like this is to 'capture every thought' (good or bad) and then decide in an almost tangible way to let it go.
either way - i feel less stressed both by Grim and by the anxiety I was having about feeling so negative towards a small innocent child.
Ok, so I slipped ina little God-spot there afterall, but what can i say.?
tomorrow we have no plans. i would LIKE to plan a lazy morning in bed, waking at 11 to read a book, rolling out of bed to make a tea/coffee, then back to bed for more reading. about 12.30 I would like to get up feeling refreshed and actually DO some of the ever-mounting housework, then spen the evening relaxing in my clean tidy house.
The actual fact of it is more likely to be - woken between 7 and 8 by small bouncing boy with a big grin on his face, saying stuff like 'jammie toast' and 'Grims house now' followed by a sleepy trip to the kitchen and a flurry of breakfast making that I cant face as too early, but have to eat to set son good example. then shower while he waves shower curtain around causing draught and wet floor, moving away only to run cold tap on-off-on-off-on-off causing unreasonable fluctuations in temperature of shower water.
drying hair will follow this with small son liberally applying underarm deodarant to my tricept (sp?) while declaring he is 'helping'. then shopping, playing, and trying to get reluctant 2 year old to eat lunch. All this before my previously desired 'leave bed' time. onwards and upwards to an afternoon of trying to juggle housework with keeping child happy and stopping him undoing everything i am doing as i go, more play, maybe a visit, more frustrations at dinnertime, then lazy hour watching his fave videos (of which i am SO bored i could scream) and reading stories before bath time. more bathroom floor wetting at bathtime, arguments about which pjs Sir would like to wear, stories in bed then fights about staying there, ( not horrid tantrums, you understand, i am VERY lucky to have a child who expresses disapproved in a comparatively mild manner). then he wil sleep while i sit exhausted, wondering when i am ever actually going to get my nice clean tidy house.!
All in all ,I wouldnt have it any other way. he's a fab boy and the thing that makes me happier than I have ever been. being a mum is GREAT! :-)
There is still the small matter of a guestbook and guest map need your input...............
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